The Halfway Birthday 😢
You’re turning 9 soon. 9. Halfway to eighteen. 2x9=18.
That’s what we’re learning at age 9.
Multiplication. Parts of speech. Who we are. Who we aren’t. Life. Love.
We’re halfway there and it hurts. It doesn’t hurt like a toothache or backache, but like a longing ache that it’s already halfway over and the hurt of wanting a time that’s already passed or reaching for a snuggly toddler that’s now a tween. A good hurt.
You’ll never not be my daughter and I’ll never not be your mom, but the older you get, the more independent you become. Eighteen is the magical age of knowing it all although I’m 100% sure you already think you do. By all accounts, your independence means I’m doing my job, right?
I’m trying, my girl. Even when you test me with your attitude or on the days you’re much too loud and I can’t think straight. I’m still trying.
That’s you learning, isn’t it? Growing. Becoming who you’re supposed to be. Pushing the limits. I want you to push and challenge yourself always, even when I don’t appreciate it in the short term.
I can’t help but feel a bit of anxiety just waiting for your first heartbreak, first missed invitation, first lost friendship. It’s coming. We’ve gotten halfway here much too quickly and it only goes faster with the passing years. Didn’t you just arrive?
I’d be failing you if I didn’t take time to prepare you for what’s in store in the second half; the challenging half. It’s been fairly easy so far. It won’t always be this way.
You won’t always be the best, the prettiest, the smartest, or the one handpicked to be at the top of the team and I want you to know that’s totally okay and to never forget that not all that glitters is gold. It’s way better to simply be you, even when being you means being different.
This too shall pass. Everything does. Breathe. Take it in. Dream.
Don’t ever feel inadequate or less than. You won’t impress everyone — You don’t have to and they’ll never realize the fabulous gift they’re missing by failing to be around you.
We’re halfway there, my girl, and I’m here for it all!
