One day you won't need training wheels

We took a walk this evening. It was so nice out. The temperature just right for a fall day after a long day at work - it's always a long day at work.

My anxiety was at all time high at the post office. An ambulance sped past me and my heart just sank. I thought of you, my sweet girl. Was it you? Were you where the ambulance was heading? It quickly got worse when I realized it was in front of the school. Someone must've noticed the fear on my face when I pulled in because the told me fast that you were okay. It wasn't you. You were fine.

Breathe, Jennifer, just breathe. Your baby is okay.

The walk this evening was just what I needed. An evening of air, an evening of laughs, and some time to unwind with my two favorite people.....until it hit me like a ton of bricks.

One day you won't need training wheels.

One day you won't need to hold my hand when you cross the street or you don't need us to tuck you in. One day that sweet smile will turn into braces and those matching dresses and socks will become mismatched socks and tattered jeans. One day you won't be almost 7 with a snaggle tooth smile.

Not too many days ago, Lawson's fire big truck became a fire truck and then it wasn't talked about anymore...... and my hear just aches knowing these days don't last.

I snuggled between you both on the couch the other night and sat in pure bliss as we, as a family, were uninterrupted as movies played across the television. The three people who mean the most to me nestled tightly under covers and huddled together, sharing laughs and smiles and each other's company..... until it creeped in again. That anxiety. It won't always be this way....

one day you won't need training wheels.

Raising your children has to be the single most bittersweet thing this momma can imagine. It becomes a countdown to when that little human is born to counting down until the days you have left with them here all the time. It doesn't last, does it?

They grow, don't they? The grow up and grow away and become their own little people. It's heartbreaking and heartwarming at the exact same time. It's hard to imagine life without them. It's hard to imagine waking up without hearing those little feet.

One day you won't need training wheels.

So I sit back and watch, I give you hugs and kisses freely, and all the love my momma heart can give because you are my absolute world and while time and days will change, I know you will grow, and I'll enjoy every moment I have left -- training wheels or not. I am SO very proud that I can watch you both grow.