You ever heard someone say they're finding their way?

I mean, what does that even mean? Do we ever really find our way in life? I think that we hope we do or we say we do, but are we ever even sure? Life is so changing and so adaptive that the way we may think we have found will likely just require a new path in no time.

I'm not sure why we try to convince ourselves that we've got it all figured out or why some people try to throw perfection in our faces, but it is - for lack of better wording - garbage.

Life isn't supposed to be perfect. Messy things are real. Complicated puzzles are the most rewarding to complete. The days littered with small incidents and to do lists are the best to reminisce about.

Are we really even living if we hold it all in a tidy little bubble?

I get overwhelmed sometimes at my responsibilities, at my lack of time for just myself, and at the idea that one day there will not be little feet running in my hallways. This feeling can overtake me and make me tap my chest to remind myself to actually take a deep breath!

Life won't always be like it is today. I won't always have this precious time with my precious babies. I won't always get to lie in bed and carefully form my body around Lawson's tiny frame and he won't always need to be touching my arm to fall asleep. When the days are long and crazy, I keep those few moments in the back of pocket to remind myself..... It won't always be this way.

Julianna is so grown up these days. She pretty much takes care of herself and entertains herself. Her imagination is wild and fierce, her dedication and work ethic to be admired. She is smart and witty, clever and kind, and an old soul in that tiny body. She is wise beyond her years and looking much older than seven. She breaks me and makes me so proud. I'm amazed watching her grow - I'm amazed at her mannerisms and behaviors that are so reflective of an older child, but then that sweet girl hugs me and tells me how much she loves me and she transforms right before my eyes back into that six pound baby girl who changed my entire world.

Life's blessings are often littered into our lives in the strangest ways. It's meeting a stranger who shares her life story that somehow inspires your hand or holding the door for someone who needed just one small kind gesture today. I don't have life figured out and even though I might say that I, too, am finding my way, I'm not even sure there is a way.

I don't think of life as a roadmap or a way. I think of life as simply life - a gift, not a promise. It's a string of beautiful and messy days, long and short days, good and bad days, woven tightly together to make us who we are. Life isn't a noun to me - it's more of a verb. It's what we're doing, not just a thing.

We are what we do and we reflect what we give. I have felt like a better person this past month, full or promise and hope and confidence. I have enjoyed evenings of homework with my kids as much as I enjoy anything. I think life happens in those boring, mundane every days just as much as it does in those extragavant days and I'm willing to bet that when we look back --

those boring days will be exactly what we miss the most. Enjoy them, my friend. We really do blink and this thing called life gets right away from us - remember to live it.